


Climbing Up On Solsbury Hill

by NorthwesternInsanity



Category: Genesis (Band), Music RPF, Peter Gabriel (Musician)
Genre: Breaking Free, Decisions, Gen, Lyric Inspired, Solsbury Hill (song), departure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthwesternInsanity/pseuds/NorthwesternInsanity
Summary: Peter Gabriel retreats to the top of a breezy hillside on the edge of Somerset in the night. Alone with the scene and his thoughts, he contemplates whether or not to make his final call to leave Genesis.





	Climbing Up On Solsbury Hill

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the rights or lyrics to Solsbury Hill.

Climbing slow but steady, Peter breathed a sigh of relief as the slope of the hill settled under him as he reached the top under the light of the moon. As he did, he turned to look back in the direction from which he came and the long distance he'd traveled and savored the pleasant, cool wind swooping over him. His lungs still filled and emptied at a quick rhythm dictated by his diaphragm, and he felt his heart beating hard like a drum in his throat with exertion.

From the edge of Somerset where the main roads stopped, he'd made it to and up the slope of Little Solsbury Hill on his own two feet, and without a single soul in his company. Gazing out, he could see the city below him quite well. Thousands of clusters of lights outlined houses and buildings, defining the heart of the city and the outskirts reaching further back into the county. Standing still from where he looked down, the lights blended the streets together, blurring and blocking out what little movement could have taken place in the night. The wind through the trees surrounding the edges of the slope and the light _boom-boom-boom_ of his heart echoing through Peter's head ensured that any subdued night sounds from below were blocked from him too. 

It almost seemed as though somebody had frozen everything in time and that he was one with his thoughts, suspended within them.

Peter was grateful. He needed the time in a surrounding where he could be alone with his thoughts. He had a lot to think over as he was one phone call away from making his departure from Genesis final.

A light screech broke the silence, and turning away from the city, Peter took in the sight of a bird rising with the current of the wind. Not even flapping its wings, but rather, riding the wind current up with a still, outstretched wings. Gliding. It was far too large to be a passerine bird -nor could such a small songbird ride the wind in such a manner. Through the darkness, the moon cut a beam of light across the sky just strong enough for Peter to distinguish it as an eagle.

Fascinated to a degree which he rarely felt, Peter watched the eagle swoop back and forth over the hill, along the hillsides, and back up and over. Being the only visible movement in the night, it was almost mesmerizing.

The swooping got even closer in proximity. Peter could see the outline of feathers on the caudal edge of the wings, and just how large and impressive a creature the eagle was. As it passed over Peter's right shoulder, the bird let out a cry into the night, swooping back down the side of the hill away from the city.

It almost seemed to Peter that the bird was trying to tell him something. He shook that thought off at first, not wanting to believe such nonsense. But as the bird swooped back up the hill with another screech and passed over again, and he found himself unable to keep from listening and ignoring it, he allowed himself to believe it. It couldn't hurt to let the more naive side of his imagination roam free when he wasn't with anyone who could judge him.

He felt the urge to speak back to it aloud. That was unusual, and he also felt rather fortunate that he was so far away from anyone and alone. Peter didn't wish to know what his friends and bandmates would say if they were to see or hear him speak his thoughts to something that didn't exist rather than staying silent. They'd probably believe he'd lost his mind.

He was tired of staying in silence, however. How long had he done it within a rigid, monotonous routine of stress, touring, recording, and performing again -busy all the time yet not getting anywhere new? Having to be perfect in every moment because he was seen as something which he was not? Maybe he seemed like the soul leader and writer, but he was only a small part of his existence. He wasn't the pure image everyone saw him as.

Despite how much everyone in their audience appreciated him for it, he wanted to change that and show what he truly was. He didn't want to be in a world where he worked like a machine alongside other humans-turned-machine by environment. He didn't feel at home in that world. He was there, but not a true part of it.

Here, in great contrast, he felt he could be absorbed into the hillside and blend in as though he'd belonged there all along. And he was living like the person he was with breathing lungs and a beating heart, rather than functioning like a machine.

"I have thought about leaving, really," he finally spoke aloud, looking over toward the eagle. Hell with it if it seemed crazy. Thinking aloud to it -even if it couldn't understand -made Peter feel like somebody understood and more at peace with his conclusions.

"I've always backed off out of uncertainty -it is sort of my home with them, but it doesn't feel like home to me at the same time. That and it interferes with other parts of my life -the pace we go at. I guess I'd better decide quickly if I'm going this time, otherwise I might as well live for the rest of time with them and give up on everything else."

The eagle gave a heavy, single flap of its wings, boosting the speed of its circle along the hillside into descent.

"I mean, it is kind of at a point in my life where if I wait too much longer to try and move on, I'll have far less opportunities as to what I can do." Peter shrugged. "Come to think of it, I probably have let a few doors fall shut along the way."

Recovered from the climb, he now breathed deeply and slowly. His heart was still a contrast, running fast and hard, faced with the dilemma he had to settle.

"Guess I just have to decide whether I cut myself off from the doors I have left, or cut away from the guys."

Peter already knew the answer as the eagle screeched again and circled above him. Glancing away from the city, this time, rather than looking at the eagle and out into the sky, he looked at the ground of the hillside, tracing it back to himself.

His shadow fell on the hill behind him off the light the moon cast over. As he moved gently, turning his head and occasionally making the sideways step to watch the eagle's continuing glides over the hill once more, he caught his shadow in the corner of his eye. It seemed to dance against the hillside.

Perhaps it was dancing with the new freedom that potentially lay before him. Or dancing before the freedom, which waited to take its hand and lead it to where Peter truly wanted to be.

He wondered what he could be, standing alone as he did here. Outside of the confines he'd existed in with Genesis. 

Practically another person. His true self -not a shadow filled in with just a stage presence. And one happy to explore different scenes -musical and otherwise.

They could stand without him too. Nobody needed to take his place. The talent was already there to cover for him -hidden within the others that the audience had refused to look for beyond himself. He didn't have to feel guilty leaving them hanging with no way to carry on.

A smile spread across Peter's face as he watched the eagle descend and disappear beyond the other side of the hill for a final time, as it did not emerge again. His heart was still pounding, but in a different sort of way. 

Anticipation. Excitement.

Conclusion.

He wasn't going to fight for control of his past work in Genesis. They could keep it. It was a sign of their time together, which had been nice, but he was ready to leave behind. He hadn't written it all like the world seemed to want to believe.

Now, he was just on his way to a new life that he could call home.


End file.
